You’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but you’re not sure how to bring it up…
Introducing a sex toy into the bedroom can be a great way to spice up your sex life, find out more about what you and your partner like, and can help to foster a deeper sense of trust and intimacy in your relationship. Bringing up the topic of toys can be intimidating, especially if you’re shy when it comes to sharing what you like in the bedroom or are afraid of making your partner feel inadequate. Rest assured that all these feelings are totally normal, but don’t have to stop you from trying new things!
Here are 5 simple steps you can take to introduce sex toys into the bedroom… and bathroom, and kitchen, and anywhere else you and your partner like to enjoy great sex!
1 – Talk about it
Wanting to try new things in the bedroom is nothing to be ashamed of, so don’t feel guilty or embarrassed to bring it up with your partner! If you’re shy when talking about sex, try mentioning toys in response to a TV show you watched or magazine article that you read. Maybe ask your partner “have you ever tried one of those?” or “I read this interesting article; what do you think?” to get the ball rolling.
If they respond positively you can mention that you’ve been thinking about buying a sex toy and see where it goes from there! Remember that being honest and open about your desires is the only way you’ll get honest and open feedback from your partner.
2 – Assure them that you’re not unsatisfied
Bringing up the subject of sex toys can be intimidating because the last thing you want to do it make your partner feel like they’re not satisfying you. To avoid hurting their feelings, explain that sex toys are not only for individual use but can be pleasurable for both partners, especially with the huge range of couple’s toys on the market. If they seem insecure, reassure them that you love your sex life but that trying a toy can make it even more exciting than it already is!
3 – Go shopping together
Whether it’s going to your local sex shop or looking at a sex toy store online, choosing a toy with your partner is a great way to make them feel involved in this new experience! Not only can you bond over all the sexy things you’d like to try, you can also have a laugh over all the crazy looking toys and speculate about how to use them!
Most importantly, openly talking about what you’re willing to try and what your boundaries are increases feelings of trust and will lead to even better sex, with or without a toy.
4 – Don’t forget to have fun
Sex is supposed to be fun so don’t take yourselves too seriously when using your toy for the first time. If you have trouble with the toy or the experience isn’t as sexy as you’d hoped it would be, who cares?! Don’t be afraid to laugh it off if things don’t go as planned because the most important thing is that you and your partner trusted each other enough to try something new in the first place.
And don’t forget, practice makes perfect!
5 – Listen & learn
After using your sex toy for the first time, always make sure to check in with your partner and see what they thought of the experience. If they found it as pleasurable and exciting as you did, then great! If they didn’t and don’t want to use the toy again, that’s ok too. Always be open to their opinions – and who knows, maybe they even suggest a different type of toy to try next!