The Vibrant Blog

6 Things You Should Never Buy From Amazon

6 Things Your Should Never Buy on Amazon

When you’re a religious Amazon shopper (like me) who has had a Prime membership since it’s inception, it is easy to get wrapped up in the idea that you can get better quality products, more conveniently, for less money, and shipped faster through Amazon. Well friends, I’m here to tell you there are certain products you should never buy from Amazon.

I will take you down the path of mistakes that I have personally made when buying things from Amazon. From sex toys (seriously, don’t do it) to mattresses – it’s not a good idea to buy these 6 products from this online retail giant!

 

Sex Toys

Sex Toys

I know what you’re thinking: “…but Stephanie, you work for a sex toy retailer, of course you’re going to say not to buy sex toys on Amazon” and I understand where you think my bias might come into play here. I am not here to say you should buy every sex toy from Vibrant (although it is a great idea), what I am saying is specifically not to buy them from Amazon. The people who sell sex toys through Amazon are notorious for carrying products that are bad for you, putting up false information on product pages, and using reputable manufactures’ names to sell poor-quality toys.

Will you find a sex toy for $15? Absolutely. Will it contain harmful chemicals that can cause infections and even have cancer causing agents in them? Chances are, also yes!

However, the decision is ultimately yours – is having a vaginal infection, or a toy stuck in your body worth saving $10 – $20? I submit that it is not (especially after the medical bills).

Paper Goods

Paper Goods

I think a lot of us like to buy paper goods, especially toilet paper, in bulk – just the thought of sitting on the toilet with no toilet paper in sight is enough to make me reach for the 30 jumbo roll pack. Plus, if you’ve ever been to a Costco on the weekend, it may not be surprising that toilet paper is Costco’s #1 product. In fact, Costco, Sam’s Club, Walmart, and other wholesalers and big retailers invest so much in paper goods that it often does not financially make sense to buy it anywhere else.

Amazon tries to keep up and convince you that buying it from them is cheaper, however when you actually look into the prices, Amazon almost always is more expensive than its counterparts and the main reason is that they’ve got to ship it to you! Now, paper goods are not heavy, but they are very bulky. All 30 of those jumbo rolls have to be put into a large box and shipped to your door, and even if you’ve got free shipping though Prime, you better believe someone is paying for that high shipping cost (and you can bet it isn’t going to be Amazon!).

Cosemtics

Cosmetics

Putting aside the fact that Amazon just doesn’t carry a wide range of premium quality beauty products and cosmetics, many products they do carry are from off-name brands that offer products with harmful ingredients, products that are often past their expiration date, have been found to be counterfeit, and have been stored in blistering hot conditions.

Not to mention that you also risk supporting people who have stolen from and/or ripped of reputable companies/manufactures. If you, like me, believe where and how you spend your dollars can make social change, you can start applying that philosophy towards purchases on Amazon! (Ok, I’ll just step off my soap box now)

Mattresses

Mattresses

A mattress is something that just has to be perfect. You’re going to sleep on this thing every. single. night. Beyond the part of this purchase that will effect your every sleeping moment, buying a mattress is also a pretty significant financial investment and you need that thing to be just right. This is something that is impossible to ensure when you buy a mattress on Amazon. You can’t touch it, lay on it, or feel the firmness – and other people’s opinions and reviews only go so far. Yes, it might be a quality mattress, but “Jane from Ohio” doesn’t know that you like to sleep on what is widely considered a concrete slab by anyone whose ever touched your bed.

For the sake of this argument, let’s just say you did order a mattress and it is not what you want – now what?? That thing is gigantic! How are you going to get it back to Amazon to exchange it or get your money back? It’s a logistics nightmare. Even if Amazon offers to ship it back to their warehouse for free (and let’s be honest, that might fly for some ballpoint pens you didn’t like, but the vetting process is a lot more cumbersome for purchases like this) you’re going to have to get the mattress into your car, drive it to the post office or drop off location, get it into the facility, and pray they will have the space to take it. IDK about you, but that just seems like a lot of effort when I could have gone to the local mattress store, laid on the bed, and gotten it delivered to my house (most of the time for free)…

Chocolate

Chocolate

Ever heard of a little things called Summer, or a spontaneous heat wave? Ya – you might be able to put two and two together here, but the last thing you want when you have a dire need for chocolate is to eagerly open your much anticipated Amazon box only to find that it is filled with melted, inedible morsels. Was I the one who decided to order 50 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? Yes I was. And you know who regretted every part of that decision once they arrived seeping out of their packaging in an inferno of goopy chocolate? You guessed it, also me!

Lightbulbs

Lightbulbs

Take a second to think about the most fragile item you can imagine. Maybe you thought of a porcelain doll, champagne flutes, or even fine china. Well, unfortunately for me, I did not take “break-ability” into account before I ordered a set of 12 lightbulbs from our friends over at Amazon. Very similar to the chocolate disaster of 2017 (above), my lightbulb shipment ended in an almost identical situation of great despair and even more tedious clean up. Let’s just say that out of the 12 lightbulbs that got shipped to my house, only 2 (that’s right, TWO) arrived unbroken. Believe me when I say, tiny shards of glass are now on my Top 10 list of things I never want to deal with again.

Stephanie Stone

Long time ecommerce strategist, first time sex toy peddler. Native Southern Californian getting used to this thing called snow. Dog mom. Modern design admirer. Trusted accomplice. Connect at @sstephsstone.

Stephanie Stone

Long time ecommerce strategist, first time sex toy peddler. Native Southern Californian getting used to this thing called snow. Dog mom. Modern design admirer. Trusted accomplice. Connect at @sstephsstone.

Vibrant Banner

Get to Know Vibrant