Ah, the female orgasm, the most mysterious member of the orgasm family. Where does it come from? How can one be blessed by its presence? Why, after so many years of women walking this earth, does it continue to remain an enigma? So many questions, so little time devoted to answering them …
We’re never taught about female pleasure (thanks, patriarchy) so it can be difficult figuring out how to make our bodies feel good.
Here are 10 facts to help you get intimately acquainted with one of the female bodies greatest gifts:
1 – It’s a marathon, not a sprint baby
If you have sex with a male partner and feel really stressed out because you can’t climax before him, don’t.
The fact is, men can climax after 3 minutes of sexual activity whilst most women have to wait at least 20. Rather than pressuring yourself trying to play catch up, talk to your partner about ways to make sex last longer.
2 – Forget vaginal orgasms
If you’ve ever tried and failed to experience an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, you’re not the only one. That’s because there is a lot of debate if the G-spot actually exists! (probs invented by the patriarchy trying to convince women that penis equals pleasure).
With its 8,000 nerve endings, stimulation of the oh so magical clitoris is one of the surest ways to experience female pleasure.
3 – Yes, you CAN orgasm from anal sex
Anal sex is often viewed by women as something that can’t be enjoyed, but that’s not the case! Women can experience as much pleasure from anal sex as men! It just takes lots of patience, lots of communication and lots and lots of lube.
(PS – check out our Anal Sex 101 post for more info on anal sex!)
4 – Not everyone can orgasm (and that’s ok)
If you have trouble reaching orgasm or have never experienced one at all, don’t fret. At least 15 – 20 percent of American women have never had an orgasm and according to Planned Parenthood, at least 1 in 3 women struggle to orgasm during sex.
There are many techniques that can help women orgasm, but the most important thing to remember is that having an orgasm isn’t the be-all and end-all of sex.
5 – Orgasms are better (and more fun) than painkillers
Next time you have cramps, avoid the Advil and grab your partner or toy for some sexy relief instead. That’s right! Having an orgasm can relieve pain thanks to the release of oxytocin. Your pain threshold can even increase up to 107 percent during climax, wow!
6 – The better you feel, the better your orgasm
It’s happened to all of us – we’re so preoccupied with how our vaginas/boobs/butts look during sex that we forget to actually enjoy it (thanks, porn). That’s because a woman’s self-esteem directly correlates with her ability to orgasm.
If you want to feel more confident about your body, start by getting to know it. Masturbation and exploring with a mirror are some of the best ways to experience how amazing your body is!
7 – You can still orgasm after sex-reassignment surgery
Sex-reassignment surgery doesn’t mean the end of sexual pleasure. Trans women who have transitioned can and do experience the big O!
8 – Orgasms can happen without touching your genitals
Marvel’s superheroes are laughable compared to the women who can orgasm just thinking about sex. You read that right. Some women orgasm at the gym, on the train and even from a kiss! Not to mention during childbirth!
It’s rare but a girl can dream, right?
9 – Your orgasms will be better at 40 than at 20
Many women are afraid of getting older thanks to society’s ageist attitude toward women (I’m looking at you again, patriarchy). But what society doesn’t tell you is that women over 36 are living their best sexual lives!!!
That’s because the older women get, the fewer f*cks they give about society’s expectations and the more glorious their orgasms are!