All of us want to be great lovers in bed and please our partners. However, we tend to stress about our looks, weight, clothing, and situation. Quite often, this kills the mood. But guess what? No one cares about it! If you can train yourself to focus on the sexual power you wield by expressing yourself, self-doubt tends to wash away.
Language is a powerful tool and practicing dirty talk can make your sex life more exciting than ever. The most important thing is to feel comfortable talking dirty. Let’s face it, whether you’re asking for what you want or engaging in a shared fantasy, it only works if it makes you feel hot and empowered.
The good news is that dirty talk isn’t complicated! The sexiest dirty talk is the perfect storm of comfort with your own sexual desire, comfort with your partner, and the ability to pace yourself. You want to build sexual tension, so you may want to start long before any sexual activities are commencing. Foreplay can happen at ANY time, friends.
Tips to Get You Prepared:
- To start talking dirty in bed, the most important thing is to be relaxed and trust your partner.
- Never do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. Never. If you’re not comfortable talking dirty, that’s okay. If you want to learn to be comfortable, start slowly and check in with yourself from time to time. Pro tip: Ask your partner if they enjoy dirty talk before getting started and end it if you sense or if they voice any discomfort.
- If you need inspiration, try reading some erotic novels. Reading is the best option because it emphasizes imagination and vocabulary instead of visual imagery.
- Role play can help those who are shy enter the world of verbal eroticism. If it sounds like fun, pretend to be someone else for the night.
- Think about what revs your engine during masturbation. If you’re comfortable, try voicing some of your thoughts or phrases you like out loud while your masturbating.
Five Beginner’s Phrases to Try in Bed
- “I want you right now.” Simple as that. You could try saying this slowly while maintaining direct eye contact and smiling dirty, but say it in the most authentic way that you can. It’s the truth behind this phrase that is sexy, not necessarily the delivery.
- “Tell me what to do and I will do it.” Giving up some control for the encounter can be exciting to both the person in control and the person surrendering. Try it on for size and see if it’s for you!
- “Please me.” Same deal as #2, just with a different role. Taking charge is sexy; owning what you want out of the encounter is sexy.
- Their name – Just about anyone loves to hear their name whispered during sex. This has the added bonus of keeping you focused and helping you stay present.
- Genuine sounds of pleasure – This is a great way to test the waters if you are feeling shy. The message is clear: Whatever your partner is doing is working! If you feel like saying more, throw in some encouragement. Your partner may love the feedback.
Interested in Reading More?
Vibrant has an awesome collection of books that can help you learn about sexy things you may not have tried before and/or to increase your knowledge even if you feel like an expert. The Vibrant team can make some recommendations if you’re looking for something specific, so give us a holler! We’re available 9am-9pm EST daily on our website chat (just push the purple button at the bottom right!) or call us at 866-316-VIBE (8423).