Each passing birthday does not signify a person’s desire for sexual satisfaction waning, nor should it. Regardless of age, you still have a right to feel good. So many baby boomers are leaving the workforce; just think about the additional time and opportunity to explore your body! You may be finding time for extra extracurriculars, but sexual stimulation and pleasure can be as important a part of self-care as anything else.
There are many ways to continue finding pleasure and enjoying your own body and a partner’s body as you age; and as at any age, there is no shame in finding pleasure alone. In fact, we encourage it! Below are some tips and tools to help you have better sex after retirement.
To Start, Get Comfortable.
There’s no need to rush any part of pleasure regardless of age. Sit back and enjoy sex after retirement. If you’re looking for some assistance in getting comfortable, look no further than the following five tips.
#1 – Engage in foreplay and warm-up whether alone or with a partner. Again, there’s no reason to rush. Try different things until you feel ready to go further. Explore the body; sexual pleasure doesn’t have to focus on just one or two areas.
#2 – Fantasize. There’s no need to stay in the present as long as you are enjoying the moment.
#3 – If you’re with a partner, ask what they like and share what you want. Talking about what feels right, or even imagining it, is often a good way to get going.
#4 – Use Lube. Lube is a magical, luxurious assistant that helps sex and stimulation feel more comfortable, regardless of age. Lube lessens friction and adds a smooth, natural feeling, irrespective of whether your body is producing its own vaginal lubrication. During or post-menopause, if vaginal dryness is causing pain or irritation, lube may become your best friend, and we’re completely supportive of that friendship.
#5 – Use pillows, furniture, or a Liberator to get in a comfortable position. If you’re in an uncomfortable position or unable to touch a desired area, finding a way to sit, stand, or lie down can be helpful. It’s hard to get warmed up if you have a kink in your neck or a sore knee.
Define Sex However You Want.
Sex doesn’t have to include a second person, nor does it have to be penetrative. You don’t have to have sex to get sexual pleasure. Over time, sexual preference changes. Maybe you just want to caress your partner to feel close to them, maybe you want to use a vibrator alone on different parts of your body. There’s no need to push it; feeling good is whatever it means to you.
It’s OK to Ask for Help.
Maybe you need help keeping an erection, help warming up, or help getting to climax. Help can come in many forms, from a partner, a product, or your imagination.
Use a vibrator or another sex toy. Whether you’re solo or with a partner, using products that provide pleasure can enhance the experience. Maybe you’re looking for something strong to help you climax or something to add lubrication? The Tantus Rumble is an external vibrator with an ergonomic grip that was made for comfort. It can be used all over the body and is a great option for someone who wants something easy to hold or who has mobility issues.
As we age, it becomes harder to get and maintain erections. Products can help with this so that sex and masturbation are easier. The Hot Octopuss products have a pulsating component that helps many who have trouble getting and maintain erections. The Pulse III Solo is meant to be used alone, and the Pulse III Duo was made to provide pleasure to both partners. C-Rings are another great option to help maintain an erection. Rings around the penis and testicles constrict blood flow, enabling the penis to stay harder for longer. The Tantus Super-Soft C-Ring is a great place to start if going this route.
Communicating with your partner about what you need and what does and doesn’t feel good is an easy way to ask for help finding pleasure.
These tips and tricks for enhancing pleasure during sex after retirement are just a start. Listen to your body. If something doesn’t feel good, change it up. Finding out what you like can help you communicate it to a partner. Remember, just because you used to enjoy something, doesn’t mean you still do. There is always space for self-discovery.
For more on improving sex after retirement, Joan Price’s book Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex has great, detailed information and tips from experts and everyday people for sex and pleasure for seniors.
Vibrant’s Body-Safe Toys Can Help You Have Better Sex After Retirement!
Vibrant has an array of body-safe sex toys for every body, and they can help you learn how to orgasm. Check out our curated collection of toys and books, too! Or, chat with us, and we can help recommend the product that’s perfect for you. We’re available 9am-9pm EST daily on our website chat (just push the purple button at the bottom right!) or call us at 866-316-VIBE(8423).