The Vibrant Blog

Sex for Seniors

Every person deserves to feel confident, sexy, and sexually satisfied at any age. Although not talked about often, sex and intimacy in later years is totally natural.

Sex is a lifelong journey and you never know where people are. Age does not determine experience.

Maybe you are seasoned at sex. There’s no mystery here, you’ve been doing it your whole life. You know what you like and don’t like and know how to communicate that with a partner.

Maybe you are in rut with your spouse after many years of having the same sex. At this point you get into the next position before your partner initiates it. It’s time to switch things up, but you feel awkward.

Or, maybe you lost your partner and feel ready to be intimate with someone again. You feel out of your element and trying to remember how the heck this works.

No matter where you are, it’s never too late to explore and have some fun. Sex might change as you get older, but it can be just as fun and fulfilling. You deserve to have satisfying sex and there are ways to achieve that.

Communication

Open communication is one of the very best things for a fun, healthy sex life. Talking about sex can be embarrassing at any age. But it doesn’t have to be.

People are into so many different things when it comes to sex. Never feel ashamed about what works for you or what doesn’t. When partners are honest and caring, they know how to satisfy each other and respect one another’s boundaries.

If something in sex isn’t working, it’s easy to put it on the back burner and not talk about, for example if you or a partner is having trouble sustaining an erection. It’s best to talk about these issues when they come up (or don’t come up).

See what I did there? A little humor can go a long way when talking about a sexual problem. Everyone is just trying to figure out sex and almost all people have experienced a sexual problem at some point, so cut yourself some slack and approach these conversations like they’re not the end of the world.

Use protection

Although you are past the age of getting pregnant, or maybe in a sexual relationship where you don’t have to worry about that, you can get a sexually transmitted infection at any age. The rate of sexually transmitted infections among older people is higher than most groups. It’s important to use protection.

Since the time of diaphragms, many different kinds of condoms have been introduced: flavors, textures, and more. Experiment with different types of condoms to find what works best for you and your partner. If you have trouble sustaining an erection, try a condom that feels a bit tight around the base of the penis to help stay hard. A cock ring at the base of the penis can also help maintain firmness.

Embrace change

Sex isn’t about recreating past experiences, but creating new ones. Rather than denying your age, it’s best to embrace it and figure out what works for you now.

Sure, you might not have aggressive sex on the kitchen table, but you might be surprised by the new experiences you have. For example, as you get older, it might take longer to become fully aroused, which means more time for foreplay. You and your partner can really focus on making each other feel good. There is no rush to orgasm. Slower, more intimate sex might be a brand new experience for you.

Don’t be afraid to explore

New positions, toys, lube—who says you’re too old for that? There is no age cutoff for experimenting with sex. Ditch whatever stereotypes you had about sex in later years and try what feels right for you and your partner.

If you are experiencing a sexual problem you’re unsure how to resolve, talk to your doctor. A doctor is a great resource to discuss changes your body might be going through and how to have pleasurable sex at any age. Again, sex is a lifelong journey and challenges inevitably arise. With open communication, protection, and open mind, sex never gets boring.

Vibrant Staff

The Vibrant Staff writers are a group of sex-positive women employed by Vibrant. Our contributors are passionate about advocacy, women's rights, relationships, and sharing their experiences with you!

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Vibrant Staff

The Vibrant Staff writers are a group of sex-positive women employed by Vibrant. Our contributors are passionate about advocacy, women's rights, relationships, and sharing their experiences with you!

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