There is a ton of wrong information about sex out there. This information comes from many places: porn, stories from friends, experiences with sex, and more.
Because there is so much information about sex, it can be hard to distinguish fact from myth. There is no reason to ever feel embarrassed if you don’t know something about sex. Sex is complicated! Everyone is just trying to understand how it works. That’s true at any age.
The list below debunks some of the most common myths about sex. Maybe you’ve heard some and already know they’re not true—great! Maybe you’ve been dying to know whether it’s true—great! Maybe you’ve never heard of this myth before—great!
1 – Penis size matters
Some say a larger penis makes better sex, but this isn’t necessarily true.
For some, size does matter and a larger penis can make penetrative sex feel more intense. Or maybe size matters and a larger penis can be uncomfortable.
Generally, though, size isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. The connection between partners, whether physical or emotional, has way more effect on sexual pleasure than the size, shape, etc. of any one body part.
Just like any other body part, penises come in all shapes and sizes. Partners who understand each other’s sexual pleasure and talk openly about sex can usually make it work with any penis size.
2 – Men reach their sexual peak in their teens; women reach their peak in their 30s
What does sexual peak mean to you? Maybe it means having sex often, trying new things in bed, or having more intimate sex with an ongoing partner.
The fact is, every person’s definition of sexual peak is different so there’s no way to generalize when anyone will reach their peak.
Sex is a lifelong personal journey. Theoretically there should be no peak, and sex will just keep getting better with time and experience. Wherever you are in your journey is just right.
As long as you’re comfortable, staying safe and healthy, and having fun, does a sexual peak really matter?
3 – Women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation
As much as some would like, there isn’t one set of instructions for how to reach an orgasm. Many people do enjoy clitoral stimulation, but that’s not to say it always leads to an orgasm or it’s the only way to orgasm.
Every individual is different—that’s true for all genders. People can orgasm from all types of sex and stimulation. And many other factors come into play, like a person’s mood, how connected they feel to their partner, what they ate that day (joking… maybe).
It is true that female orgasms are more particular than male orgasms. Clitoral stimulation can help reach an orgasm so a more accurate statement is: many women require some kind of consistent stimulation to reach an orgasm.
4 – More women than men are bisexual
Identifying as bisexual means different things to different people. For some, it might mean emotional attraction to both sexes. For others, it might mean physical attraction mostly to one sex, but some emotional attraction to another sex. And for some, it’s fluid and may change based on the day.
Because sexuality is so deeply personal, there is no way to tell if this myth is true.
We have an inkling where it started, though….Whether or not people are aware, their surroundings influence how they express their sexuality. It’s generally more socially accepted for women to experiment with their sexuality. There are probably plenty of men who identify as bisexual, but may be less inclined to express it based on how society says they’re supposed to act.
5 – Men want casual sex; women want relationships
Think about the people in your life, both men and women. Do all the women want relationships and all the men want casual sex? Probably not.
All people are different and at different points in their lives. Maybe a person just went through a break up and wants to get back out there, but not after anything serious. Maybe a person feels settled in their life and ready to be in a serious relationship.
These scenarios are not based on gender. These are just people.
Turns out most myths about sex are really just generalizations about people. The best way to think about sex is with an open mind and an understanding that all people all different. You are unique—how sex works for you now is different than it was five years ago and different than how it will be five years from now. Approach sex with appreciation of your own body and worth, and an appreciation of other people.