It’s tough out there for women these days. Tougher still for women of color. It’s a mess for anyone with a vulva.
We’re living in dark times. No way around it, folks. The second Supreme Court justice in under thirty years to be accused of sexual assault and misconduct was just confirmed. We may be looking at the end of Roe v. Wade and easy access to birth control within the next few years.
Amongst all of this puritanical backsliding, what is one to do? The answer is, of course, fighting on and keeping our heads up through the onslaught of political bullshit that seems to rain down at every turn.
Pleasure is a key component in all of this. It may seem like a small thing to consider, but taking the freedom of choice that we have as women and controlling it however we want is a baller move. 15-20 percent of American women have never had an orgasm.
Buying and using feminist pleasure products is a salute to your autonomy. Your body and your pleasure are in your hands. Slut is just a word men made up to control us, so let’s not abide, OK? Here is how (and why) you should take control of your body (and clitoris). Today. It’s the ultimate power move we have as women (besides voting!).
Pleasure is self-care, and we are all up in this right now.
Pleasure Is a Powerful Tool
For too long we’ve been subject to the myth that we’re supposed to obtain sexual pleasure by a man sticking his penis in our vaginas and thrusting hard. According to Planned Parenthood, 1 in 3 women reports having trouble having an orgasm during sex, and that is because this is not how orgasm works.
Understanding the clitoris and utilizing feminist pleasure products that help you find pleasure releases you from any reliance you may have had on someone else for your orgasm.
“When a woman discovers her sources of pleasure and what works, she accomplishes multiple things: she is in charge of her own pleasure and therefore is not dependent on anyone else; she is informed about it and can choose to direct others; she can achieve it whenever she wants and feel powerful,” says Dr. Laura Deitsch, aka Dr. Shameless, the resident sexologist of Vibrant and a licensed clinical professional counselor with a doctorate in human sexuality.
TL;DR: If you know how to make yourself come, you quickly realize you actually don’t need anyone. You are enough to be complete. It’s scary as hell to the establishment (read: patriarchy) when women realize this.
All Hail the Good Vibrations
Many women don’t experience orgasm until they are introduced to vibration. Who can blame them? We didn’t even know the full structure of the clitoris until the late nineties. How can you know how to get off if you don’t even know your own bits?
A sex toy is designed to make you come. That’s what they were created to do. As Deitsch tells us: “Toys reinforce the premise that women are entitled to feel good whenever and however they choose.” No wonder men are so quick to tell us that feminist pleasure products are a threat to their manhoods. (Excuse me, cry-laughing to death right now).
Vibrators are not replacements for a partner, they are pleasure enhancers. “They provide the means for a pleasurable experience without a partner and can also enhance an experience with one,” says Deitsch.
Pleasure is something we all deserve. The male orgasm has been touted as the end-all-be-all of sex. Once he comes, sex is over. How about no?
Your orgasm is not an afterthought. It is a priority.
It’s what you deserve, and it’s a beautiful way to assert your independence.
OK, But Just Tell Me What to Buy
When it comes to first-time vibrators, you want to stick with something easy to use. It’s also important to buy products that are made from high-quality materials that are safe for your body. Vibrant has you covered.
If you can’t trust a sex toy shop that’s backed by Planned Parenthood, who can you trust?
We live in a culture that doesn’t prioritize female pleasure and, instead, chooses to shame it. Since you’re coming from such depressing roots, buy a toy that makes you feel comfortable. You can always move on to more advanced feminist pleasure products later.
Buy Feminist Pleasure Products
Satisfyer Penguin Pro
If you’ve never had an orgasm and/or a vibrator before and aren’t quite sure what to buy, the Satisfyer is an excellent place to start. You place the little nozzle over the clitoral glans (the bulb you see at the top of the labia). Through a combination of suction and air, the Satisfyer mimics oral sex.
No, we’re not joking. Many women have reported having the quickest orgasms of their lives.
This toy is liberating because it can take you from thinking your body is broken from not orgasming during intercourse to a place of wonder and confidence.
Fin from Dame Products
Just look at Fin and tell us it’s scary:
You slip the strap over your pointer and middle fingers, placing Fin between them. You then use the powerful vibrating base to massage your clitoris. It’s super easy to use and won’t freak you out.
Fin is the ultimate starter toy because it not only doesn’t look like a scary dildo, it’s quite cute and stays in place.
Form II from JimmyJane
The Form II is about as adorable as you can go with a vibrator. It looks like a bunny. But, it sure does pack a punch.
The rabbit-like ears lie on either side of the clitoris, giving you a full range of pleasure. This is definitely not a toy you want to skip.
You have the data, the tools, and the support from us.
Go forth, get your orgasm, and take control of yourself. You have the power. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Want to find out more about feminist pleasure products?
Vibrant only sells body-safe products with proceeds going to fund Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains. Designed to feel like you’re talking with a friend, Vibrant strives to further female empowerment, sex positivity and body positivity in a comfortable, welcoming environment with no nude images so anyone can feel comfortable, regardless of age (although, 18+), income, religion, race, gender or sexual identity. To learn more, visit Vibrant or check out Vibrant on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest.