This article is written specifically for transgender and nonbinary people who are exploring pleasure or reclamation in their bodies and sexual lives. That said, these affirmative tips are just as useful for our cisgender and heterosexual audiences!
You’re in Command of Your Pleasure
You have permission to define or not define who you are, to create your own names for your body, and declare who you want it stimulated by and how! You get to choose what toys feel best, how you want to use them, and how you want them to make you feel. You deserve safety and joy when discovering and enjoying pleasure alone or with a partner.
Good sex beyond binaries and pleasure that challenges heteronormativity is available to us all. Transgender people are often told that our bodies are shameful. Some assume that by experiencing dysphoria, trans people do not also experience pleasure, which is usually not true at all.
Pleasure looks different for everyone, and gender euphoria is available to all of us, even in the bedroom.
Your pleasure belongs to you. Your body belongs to you. Your orgasms belong to you. Your love belongs to you. Your play belongs to you. Autonomy and agency of your body promote pleasure, whether you are intimate with yourself or a partner.
Transgender Pleasure Transcends the Typical
We are naturally, constantly learning and growing through relationship. Develop personal practices that affirm your pleasure. Practice allowing yourself to explore what your body desires. Get free from scripts of pleasure that diminish your creativity or wholeness. Nurturing pleasure for your trans body is revolutionary.
Our genders, sexual orientations, relationship orientations, sexual desires, and experiences of our bodies all may change over the course of our gender journeys. Through freedom, creativity, and play, transitioning can allow you to explore how to give your authentic, evolving self what you need to be affirmed and fulfilled in the present moment.
Trans and nonbinary people are often made to feel like our sexual desires must conform to a socially acceptable script. Perhaps you have already received some harmful messages about how you are expected to desire sexual pleasure because of your gender or the sex you were assigned. Maybe you find yourself swapping from one set of gender roles to the other. Maybe this is liberating, or maybe it feels toxic and restrictive! Maybe you have held yourself to harmful expectations because of how you believe you are supposed to perform in or feel about your body.
Whatever your desires, whether you want to explore submission or domination, unicorn role-play, vibration, strap-ons, binding, stuffing, packing or tucking, penetrating yourself or someone else, or embodying versatility or fluidity, remember: You are worthy of being affirmed and supported in enjoying pleasure in your body. Instead of sticking to scripts that stifle your expression, create pleasure practices that authentically celebrate you. What would happen if you removed your own limitations to pleasure?
Transgender Pleasure and Transgender Experiences Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All
There is not one universal experience for trans people, and sometimes it takes an extra push to claim the validity of your own experience. It’s worth it to own your truth and experience the pleasure that it can unlock. There is no one way to be trans enough or valid enough or fluid enough or subversive enough. You simply are enough. Period.
You deserve partners who are comfortable reorienting and learning about you as you change and discover new facets of your identity. Share with your journal or a trusted person what you need to feel most alive and pleased sexually. If you are a partner of a trans person, educate yourself on how to create more safety for your partner so joy and pleasure can flourish for you both.
Transgender Pleasure Takes Many Forms
Whether you’re a poly trans woman who loves penetration, you’re a single shy and sensitive AFAB being who is curious to explore self-pleasure or you’re an AMAB enby who gets off on dominating with nipple clamps, whether you’re kinky agender gray-ace rope royalty, you’re a trans guy with a collection of hefty silicone cocks you love having sucked, you’re a trigender babe into daddy/little role-play, or you’re a collared genderfluid queer who’s enamored by butt plugs and cock rings, we must claim that our transness— binary or nonbinary, static or fluid, kinky or vanilla, and with respect to all sex assignments and body types — deserves permission to teach us about letting go, trust, change, and freedom. Transness (and maybe a new toy or two) could be your ticket into unbridled joy and pleasure.
Vibrant Has Toys That Enhance Transgender Pleasure
Vibrant has a variety of body-safe sex toys for every body. Check out our curated collection, and you can be sure that your selection will be body-safe. Or, chat with us, and we can help recommend the product that’s perfect for you. We’re available 9am-9pm EST daily on our website chat (just push the purple button at the bottom right!) or call us at 866-316-VIBE (8423).