The Vibrant Blog

Why It’s Okay for Feminists To Watch Porn

So, you’re a feminist and you think you might like to watch porn. You’re an enlightened citizen of the future, a champion for the rights and equality of all people! But you’re still a person… and people like sex. And people like to watch other people have sex… and it’s absolutely okay! 

There seems to be a stigma around porn (for good reason) that it’s anti-feminist, that it’s dangerous and violent, and that if you watch it you must be some sort of misogynistic ass. While there are a fair share of misogynistic asses floating around out there, watching porn doesn’t mean you are one of them!

In fact, porn can be a fantastic way to explore and celebrate your sexuality. Pull out that vibrator or dildo and let yourself play while you indulge your inner voyeur! 

Why most porn misses the mark…

A google search for the term “porn” gives a shocking 438 million results. Suffice to say, there’s a lot of it out there. But quality is certainly not synonymous with quantity in this field. Despite the unbelievable array of porn available today, most of it is well, just bad. Sometimes the sets are bad, sometimes the acting is bad, sometimes the sex just isn’t very sexy.

In addition to that, the majority of porn out there is blatantly centered towards heterosexual men and men’s pleasure. From the sex positions, to the camera positions, to the money shot, it is clear that the cisgendered man reigns supreme here.

While cisgendered women are the focus of much porn, it is not very common to see them receiving pleasure or having their needs met (orgasm gap much?).

Heterosexual porn perpetuates the notion that sex occurs on a man’s timetable, and that when he comes, sex is ‘done’ regardless of the woman’s pleasure. This view of sex is so one sided and frankly very antiquated. But times are changing!

 

How it’s getting better…

For the sophisticated porn watcher, the options may seem bleak. For the feminine and queer identified audience, there is often very little appeal. If you struggle to find porn that you find sexy, don’t despair! There are a growing number of options for those who want more from their porn.

Realizing that there was a need for porn that was more realistic and passionate, and portrayed more equality, many filmmakers have set out to provide such a product. One favorite of mine is a Swedish director named Erika Lust. Her porn is realistic, sexy, unexpected, and cinematically beautiful. Her videos can be purchased for streaming via her website…

The videos are not free, but good things often aren’t! If you want quality porn, get comfortable with the idea that you sometimes have to pay.

The money you spend is well worth the quality of product you get, along with knowing that the actors are being treated fairly and compensated accordingly.

It’s like the difference between shopping at Whole Foods versus King Soopers. You pay more, but the experience is so much better.

 

Why porn is good…

Yes, that’s right I said it! PORN IS GOOD! And watching it can be good for you and your sex life, provided the material is something you enjoy and is portraying sex in a positive way.

Anyone can gain great enjoyment from watching sexually explicit material, reading erotica, or even making their own home videos. 

There’s nothing wrong with porn as a concept, it’s just that lots of porn is somewhat, shall we say… misguided. Porn is a great way to enhance pleasure while you masturbate, or can be fun to watch with a partner during sexual play.

Pull out that couples toy and create an entire experience! It can also be a great way to get new ideas about things you might want to try, or new positions you never thought of. Check out these options for mutual masturbation if you haven’t yet.  

It’s okay to watch porn! But if you’re going to you might as well watch something good! If you start to watch something and realize that it hits you in the wrong way, or doesn’t align with your views about sexuality, watch something else! Never watch anything that makes you feel yucky or uncomfortable, the point is to have fun and feel sexy!

Kendall Lambrecht

Erotic enthusiast. Future clinical sexologist. Culinary mastermind. Making the world a more beautiful, sexy, delicious place to be!

Follow her on
Instagram: @kendalllambrecht
Facebook: facebook.com/kendall.lambrecht

Kendall Lambrecht

Erotic enthusiast. Future clinical sexologist. Culinary mastermind. Making the world a more beautiful, sexy, delicious place to be!

Follow her on
Instagram: @kendalllambrecht
Facebook: facebook.com/kendall.lambrecht

Shop Vibrant

Get to Know Vibrant